Mi madre once told me that trying to keep friendships from the past — ties me to the past. She wasn’t talking about mis amigos who are como mis hermanas, no. She was talking about those who no longer serve me. Who have become toxic, in one way or another, to my growth.
You let go because maybe you are tired of always being the one texting first. You let go because maybe you’re the one making the effort to see them, when they won’t take time out of their schedule to see you. You let go because the conversations that were once fun and stimulating and relatable, leave you feeling like something is missing. You let go because your friends get upset with you when you have to put your career first.
Believe it or not, your friends can have an effect on your success. We’re talking about the people who you actively choose to be influenced by.
Es como el saying “Who you spend the most time with is who you become.”
This doesn’t mean you should go burning every bridge you have. It just means you should be honest with yourself about what you need in your social network, or maybe to reimagine it.
The Greek Philosopher Aristotle identified three different kinds: friendship based on utility, friendships based on pleasure, and friendships based on virtue.
Friendships based on utility are mutually beneficial relationships. This can be a colleague, classmate, client, or even a neighbor. In one way or another, this relationship is useful to both of you.
Friendships based on pleasure happen with those who share common interests or hobbies. These are people who you might take a class with, met on holiday, or watch the same shows as you.
The strongest and most valuable type is friendship based on virtue. They take longer to establish y strengthen, but they are the longest lasting. These are people who have similar values and goals. You mutually respect and admire one another, and you nurture, celebrate, and encourage one another.
Now, back to talking about being a badass successful babe.
First, ask yourself these questions:
- Do my friends have high aspirations?
- Do they respect my career goals?
- Do they have positive attitudes?
- Do they motivate you?
Next, follow some of these tips on choosing the right friends para un vida de success.
- Get out of your comfort zone and talk to people who are above your level (career-wise).
- Look at your friends as a success team with common goals.
- Communicate with them that you want to be challenged, encouraged, and motivated.
- Choose people who celebrate your success.
- Find people who balance out your personal weaknesses.
- Get close with people who get shit done.
- They should always want to know more y do more.
- You have to be a good friend too.
RECUERDA: Sometimes you just need to communicate your needs to your friends. And si tienes amigas who still don’t value you THEN a la basura. Get me?
You have to make a choice about who is most valuable to you, because in realidad we’re limited on the time we can spend on relationships. More time with one person means less time with another.
Friendship, like any other relationship, is a two-way street. Don’t find yourself being the only one who is trying.