Sexual health and sex in general are topics that are so taboo in Latinx households that just even saying the word sex brings a hush and weird vibras to the room. Most of the time, la unica manera that we talk about sex is because we either sit through sexual health education or have “the talk” with our parents. And, by “the talk” I mean when they tell you that you can’t have sex until you’re married and that it is a sin to please yourself.
But, has it ever occurred to you that maybe, just maybe, sex doesn’t have to include all these negative connotations. Sexual pleasure can be amazing! What does sexual pleasure mean? Well, it is the physical or psychological satisfaction derived from erotic experiences, which includes thoughts, dreams and autoeroticism. Entendiendo how to sexually pleasure yourself is important in knowing que es lo que quieres when it’s time to have sex with a partner.
Sexual arousal
Arousal can happen because you’re in the heat of the moment. Y aveces, it just doesn’t happen that way. Cuando empiezas una relacion nueva, you might have the urge to do it all the time. However, once you’ve been with someone for a while you might find your self losing the spontaneity of having sex all the time. Sometimes all it takes is a good plan. You can find a local sex shop, plan a sexy getaway (which may also be called a vacation) or just plan a night just to have sex. Puedes hacerlo sola or with your partner.
Another great way to start the arousal process maybe just a little earlier than anticipated is by sexting. Telling your partner what you want to do to them, before you actually do it, builds the anticipation making the wait for pleasure just a little more desirable.
Self-pleasure
Knowing how to please yourself is the best way to knowing exactly how to make yourself orgasm or what you want from your partner. Masturbation is not only good for your physical health but also para tu salud mental. Not only that, pero es el sexo mas safe. There’s no risk for STDs, STIs and no risk of pregnancy or emotional attachment.
It takes un poquito de practica and mucha paciencia, but eventually you’ll be really feeling it and the pleasure will ripple through your body. Knowing where your g-spot is and how to stimulate your clitoris to reach orgasm will always be key in making sure you’re pleasured, sola o acompañada.
Orgasms have so many health benefits. Some of those benefits are:
- reduce stress
- improve your skin
- better sleep
However, one of the greatest things about an orgasm is just simply the fact that it makes you feel good – really good.
Sex with your partner
When you know exactamente lo que quieres, it’s so much easier to ask your partner to do things a certain way to make sure you’re also getting what you need. Your sexual health is important and being sexually satisfied is equally as important. Ask them to do things differently. Tratando diferente positions, adding sex toys to the mix or even a little role play.
Nada pierdes con explorar tu sexualidad and look for new ways in which you can please yourself and your partner. If they’re not putting the same effort into pleasing you as you are into pleasing yourself, maybe it’s just not worth it. Hace tiempo, I had a guy tell me that Latina women were too hard to please sexually. Guess he didn’t try hard enough, boy adios.
Recuerda to be safe.
La importancia of having safe sex never goes out of style. Sexual pleasure and condoms use are extremely important. There are many things you can do to protect yourself before sex as well such as:
- Going to get tested together
- Being honest about your sexual past
Also, verbal consent is extremely important. No solo debes preguntar at the beginning of intercourse but, also throughout, especially if you’re trying something new. There are ways for women to protect themselves such as condoms for women. So don’t be scared or shy to be the one to pull out the rubber.
La salud sexual shouldn’t be something that we shy away from. With our friend groups, family and especially your doctors. Always remember to be honest with them and share if you are having difficulties in any of the phases of intercourse.
It’s time to empoderarse when it comes to sexual health!